Friday, June 11, 2010

Light in my Life

After a very long, scary road we've finally found out whether I have cancer or not...and the answer is NO! I haven't really talked about the situation too much, so here it is for anyone who was wondering.

On April 7, 2010 we found out I was 7 weeks pregnant...we were terrified. After stressing to our wits end we finally came to peace with the situation and actually got very excited. We started looking around at baby items and discussing names; we never could have imagined what was coming.

Just a couple short weeks later I started experiencing pain and bleeding which I knew was not normal, so we took a trip to the emergency room. After a ton of blood work and an ultrasound the doctor still couldn't confirm or deny a miscarriage, but that wasn't the only thing concerning him. It turned out that the radiologist had discovered a very large cystic tumor in/on my uterus (it was uncertain at the time). I was ordered to pelvic rest and put on medical leave from work.

After almost 5 weeks of medication and another ultrasound later it was decided that I would have surgery by the week's end. On May 28, 2010 I went in for what was supposed to be a quick outpatient surgery. It was only supposed to last about 45 minutes, but turned into a little over 2 hours. From what I hear all was going well with my surgery, but then I began to aspirate out of nowhere. So they had to stop what they were doing and get the new situation taken care of before they could finish up. They moved me from the operating room to recovery where they brought me out of anesthesia...it was then that I began to have a reaction to it. I ended up having a seizure as I was coming out of it and from what I understand it lasted a little over 5 minutes. It was pretty scary, I was awake for a few minutes of it and that was enough to make me want to never go through anything like that again. Once I was stable they put me back in outpatient and doped me up on pain killers. After about an hour or so the doctor decided to go ahead and admit me for at least the night; which turned out to be a good thing, because I had been so nauseous and was having unbearable pain. I was released the next day around noon shortly after my lovely friend Laura arrived.

Let me take a minute to talk about Laura. Friday morning, for some reason, I had an overwhelming urge to see her, but I figured I was just being emotional so I didn't say anything. Well I called her that night to give her an update and she asked if I wanted her to come...of course I said yes because of what I had felt early that morning. The next morning she made the 2 1/2 hour drive to see me and ended up staying through Monday afternoon. She is, by far, one of the most amazing people I have ever known and definitely one of the biggest lights in my life. Instead of going out and having fun on her weekend off she chose to help my mom take care of me. She cooked, she cleaned....she colored princesses with me. I couldn't have asked for more.

Speaking of the lights in my life, the 2 brightest have to be my beautiful mom and my amazing husband. I can't begin to praise God enough for the amazing gifts He's given me through them. If not for my mom there is no way Bradley and I would have been able to make it through these past couple of months. She's helped us financially since I've been unable to work. She's taken time off work to be able to go with me to my doctor's appointments. More than anything she's been there for me emotionally. I feel so much closer to her after this whole ordeal then I ever have in my life.

My husband has been a trooper through all of this as well. He doesn't like to talk about it much, because he doesn't like to think of me being in pain. Even though we were both distraught over the miscarriage he still managed to put me first and make sure my every need was met. I honestly don't know how he did it. There were days when I just didn't want to get out of bed, days when I couldn't stop crying and days when I didn't even want to talk to him. Yet he stood faithfully by my side. On the day of my surgery he was going to stay in Corpus and go to work since my mom would be with me at the hospital. However, at the last minute before my surgery I completely broke down and my mom wasn't enough...I wanted my husband. I was crying hysterically when I called him and somehow between the wheezing, sniffling and squealing he understood that I needed him there. He called into work and headed straight over. I honestly think that was the happiest he has ever made me.

It's been a very long road to recovery. I can walk again and will never take it for granted again. Physically I'm feeling so much better, but emotionally I'm still healing.


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